So many thoughts...
We're just past week 6 and baby has blessed us with more sleep and more predictability. We've managed to see friends, respond to emails, workout, and most dangerously, check Facebook.
But the minutes and hrs here and there also makes you *think* that you can have a complete adult thought, when what you really have is the beginning of one but never the middle or end before she needs to be changed, fed, burped, picked up...
So here are just some of the thoughts running in my head, often at 3 am when she's on the boob and I'm staring into the dark:
- Baby development. I should read more about baby development and see if she's meeting all the milestones and what we can expect.
- My career. What will happen after 3 months? 6 months? I want to spend time with M and T and we have a great thing going, but will my brain rot away without a bona fide job?
- Meditation. I really need to continue. What will the rest of the group think if I bring her?
- Confidence. So much of parenting is about confidence, more than ever I need to listen to my intuition. But everyone has an opinion!
- That's another thing, there are supportive moms and asshole moms and everything in between and everyone has an opinion. I don't know why I thought the mom identity would unite us all in a kumbaya circle. But people are people, and some will always be arrogant and self centered no matter how many kids they have.
- The divide between friends who are parents and friend who aren't. Not as separate as I thought, which has been a great surprise.
- Coparenting, part I. It really takes two and oftentimes more than two. And it starts out as equal but when dads have to go back to work and makes more money doing the same work, the rift begins. Dads struggle with having it all too, why aren't we talking about that?
- Coparenting part II. Keeping things equal/fair between the two of you. Does it even matter? Who's keeping track?
- Getting back to pre-baby body. (That's it, that's all the thought I've given to that one.)